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See the thing with having depression at such a young age, is that you get used to it, it becomes a part of you. It’s who you are, you grow up and the years pass you by, your friends are excited at the concept of another birthday, but all you can think is fuck, I’m not dead. I made it through another year. unless you’ve had depression before turning eighteen, I don’t think you fathom how hard it is truly to get out of this cocoon of suicidal thoughts and depression. You don’t know how to be sane, you don’t know how to be happy, you don’t know a life outside of this pit of self-destruction and depression. The difference is people who get depression after eighteen have an idea what a life outside of depression is like, but when you get it when you’re young is that you have no concept of what life is without depression, or the constant suicidal thoughts. You don’t just get over something that has had a hold on your life for over fourteen years.
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I was depressed starting around the age of 14-15. I still suffer from it. That and anxiety. I totally know what you mean. Over the years, I have also gained some anxiety too which for me, Anxiety feels so much worse. I actually tried to commit suicide back in 2001. It's a struggle, just know you aren't alone. <3
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