Martinus

I wanted to paint tonight, but had writing inspiration as I was outside on my own. I hope you like it. 

 

Somebody special once told me

''Let it all out, there is a light inside

Do not be afraid, there is no reason to muddle it and hide.''

Right before I had to give up defeat,

You swore on your own life, yet I had to take my retreat

 

 

 

''See, I once met this angel,

Crystal grey eyes with platinum hair

She had experienced something terrible, her eyes filled with despair

Yet the most beautiful thing was the release of her cry

She let go of the haunting from her sorrow through a song

she released the weights of her shoulders and went to fly.''

 

 

 

Time passes,

yet these words echo through my mind

I prepare myself for a journey, all on my own

Freed myself from the shackles,

chained to their self made throne

I wish I could see your face once more, I feel alone

 

 

 

Strange it feels to dwell these barren desert lands with a plan of my own

These flowers I plucked from the fields at the shore earlier, they seemed less colourful before

I will not look back no, away from the cages I have flown

 

 

 

Night is falling as I reach and make my way through the woods,

I lift my head to the stars that glisten upon the leaves,

Wondering if I will ever see the light up close

So I can prevail these self conflicting wars of mine

 

 

 

I always told myself, you are granted back what you give and gain

but if I live by words of this prophecy,

Then what on earth did I take to deserve this horrid pain?

 

 

 

Since adolescence I have only ever felt half alive,

Nobody to trust, even my own body torning itself from inside

These wounds will be but scars with you by my side

Your words they kept me alive, healed me

Now they haunt me as you are not here

And even angels break down and cry, how will I survive if I only fear

 

 

 

I stop by this creek and look in my reflection, staring in the eyes of the man others told I have grown to be

But all I see is a crying boy, once surrounded by love and peace then hurt for all to see

Somebody young, innocent and selfishly pushed aside by many,

Hiding in self-shame, they left when there was nothing for them to take from me

Yet this boy smiles and laughs through the long periods of pouring rain,

He believes the waters will make life flourish again,

He doesn't need others to see him perished in his own vain

 

 

 

A tear rolls down my eye as I look up to the sky at this calm night

I am howling like the wolves and owls, singing their song of moonlight

Yet the echos of my cry feel so free,

Like the water flowing and the wind blowing,

they take my fears and flee

 

 

 

I have always given love and heart,

In return I am left bare handed, naked and torn apart

Now I continue this trail northwards, it is my path to traverse alone

No longer will I be naive to the promises of men and women I cross, on their deeds I shall rely

I wish I had known beforehand, maybe I would never have pushed myself aside

Perhaps the road I am taking was  much shorter if we had not collide

 

 

 

I ready myself a shelter of branches and leaves to sleep,

No sun sets or rises without a thought of you and I passing by

When you hurt me and ventured further alone, did you even bat an eye?

Sincerely I hope you are happy with the decisions that you made

Although I keep looking back, I know that even our most cherished memories will fade

 

 

 

Dawn is breaking upon the land,

I will continue this journey now again, climbing up this mountain to reach the sky

Perhaps the light will be clearer for me to see from up this high

 

 

 

Now here I stand, on the peak of the mountain

Terminus reached, the echoes of harsh voices from the past still shouting with howls from the wind

I watch as the sun rises behind the hills I crack a smile and break,

these final tears will be blown away, freezing with the chills

 

 

 

My hands stiff from the cold as I finish this garland

These flowers around the statue I carved, they remind me of days now gone

Their colours are already withering, and with them sinister whispers will condone

Now I understand memories of what happened never eradicate

They are channeled here on this place, is there even such a thing as fate?

 

 

 

I close my eyes once more before I will continue my travel

Then I recall a voice in the wind, thoughts about that angel you once told me about,

And for the first time I feel ready to let go and cry

It feels good to be up here, alone, right between earth and sky

Briefly it seemed if you were with me once more,

But it is only lullaby, a remembrance at that shore of you and I

 

 

 

Just like that angel,

you left your sorrows behind to spread your wings

Although I am now alone and carry the burden,

I can make it through and we will reunite as kings