Plague

 sorry for not be active I’ve got a horrible flu  

Does someone want to be a darling and help me design my screenshot shop as I suck at shop templates

Thinking to remake a screenshot shop what sort of themes are people into now a days ?

Just taking my cow for a walk

And if the sun's upset and the sky goes cold
Then if the clouds get heavy and start to fall
I really need somebody to call my own
I wanna be somebody to someone
Someone to you
Someone to you
Someone to you
Someone to you

I am my own biggest critic. Before anyone else has criticized me, I have already criticized myself. But for the rest of my life, I am going to be with me and I don't want to spend my life with someone who is always critical. So I am going to stop being my own critic. It's high time that I accept all the great things about me.

C. JoyBell C.

This is Susan from Planned Parenthood, I have her test results. If you could have her call me as soon as she can. It’s urgent, thank you.”

Happy 25th birthday to me 

I’ve returned from hating myself

please can you all like my photography instagram and also does gasr discord still exist ??

plague.child_photography

follow me 

Curious:

Does anyone here make websites my friend not on gasr needs one and I thought I’d ask 

Thank you 

After months of extreme depression and disgusting suicidal thoughts, I'm back and holy Satan on a broom stick

The Halloween theme is so pretty!!

Help needed:

So this year I've decided to make advent calendar for friends and family, however I wanted so advice.  Apart from candy/chocolate what other things do you think you'd enjoy in an advent calander ?

So with my job I'm not allowed to get therapy or be on anti depressants.  

But I'm feeling 40% better

Update:

I won't be on gasr or discord for a while as my depression has gotten to the point where my suicidal thoughts are back and I need to deal with me. 

Love you all x

Mood

THIS!!

There’s nothing more ugly than the culture of having children for the sake of having them. Too many people ask “do you want kids?” but not enough ask “are you ready for the emotional, physical, and financial sacrifices you will have to make to raise children?” It’s so ugly to me that people treat kids like a commodity, like a dress or a pair of earrings they just throw on. How dare you? That’s not a new car you can get bored of or discard in a few years, that is a person, and particularly a person who will absolutely be dependent on you for emotional support, financial support, discipline, and leadership; someone who you will have power of virtually every portion of their lives until they’re ready to be adults, who you will impact in irreversible ways, who will look to you for the rest of YOUR life and theirs for explanations about life and how they turned out to be who they are, for better or for worse. If you say you “want kids” but you’re “not sure if you could handle” them needing time and attention, costing you money,  or you’re “not sure you can handle” if they turn out gay, or disabled, or transgender, or any other myriad of things that don’t really make your child any less of a person but which an ugly society can have ugly views on, etc. then you don’t deserve to have children. If you “want children” but haven’t thought about literally having to be there for them for virtually everything they will go through and ask of you, you’re not adult enough to have them.

And what’s so insidious about many of these same people is that they are the ones making their children feel guilty that they fed them, housed them, and basically didn’t let them die, as if this is some meritorious act, as if parents aren’t supposed to raise their children and not kill and starve them, as if they are some type of martyr that deserves praise for doing the bare minimum.

http://alittlebitgirlyalittlebitfeminist.co.uk 

what are those eyebrows!!

I've met with the angels
Danced with the devil in my head, and that's okay
I've tried to be the strongest
When I was the weakest inside, and that's okay

This is about to get personal sorry:
Ever since I was little I've had depression, yes children get depression too. However as the years went by my depression became worse. From attempted suicide attempts, anti depressant and really shitty therapist. Each telling me the same thing. "There was nothing they could do." Or flat out bailing on me because you know "budget cuts." This led to drinking, hiding bottles of wine and vodka in my bedroom cupboard. Drinking myself to sleep to numb the pain etc. At 13 I got into a relationship. Young love aye at first it was lovely, we'd talk, hang out chill etc and then at 16 he changed, he ended up hanging out with new people, became aggressive, screamed and belittled me. Anytime I was having a good day there he was to remind me that the world was better of without me. Two years later he moved away. So our relationship deteriorated, I tell people i ended things but in reality if he was still here I'd probably still be with him. At 18 I became what people class as a whore, I slept around, didn't even matter to me who they were. This was also near the time of my sexual assault. The only thing that mattered to me was that they were single, I'm not a monster. Fast forward to 21 and got into my second serious relationship, A guy called Jake, you know that nibbling gut feeling you get that something isn't right listen to that, two years into our relationship he admitted to cheating on numerous occasions and he was only telling me now as one of them could potentially be pregnant. You can imagine how that ended! A few months after we broke up I started dating a guy called Connor, the most fucked up person I dated. He faked a mental disorder, after attempting to break up with him the first time he got a friend to call and say he had attempted suicide and was in hospital. He'd clearly forgotten he still had me on Facebook, as he'd posted a picture of him and his mates at a bar. I screengrabbed the photo and sent it to him, of course he said his phone was stolen. Yet he was messaging me back on the same number. :)
The reason I vanish alot from gasr is because 90% of the time I'm battling suicidal thoughts and depression. My upbringing as decent as it was was based on keeping your mouth shut, you have an issue suck it up, my dad screaming and shouting. Imagine being told daily from your dad from the age of 5. "How fucking retarded you were" because you struggled with a certain thing, or being reminded constantly that you aren't good enough. There were days I sat in my room with pills and vodka whilst my family sat downstairs and not once checked on me. I started sitting downstairs with them, and with my mum it's lovely it's really helped, but my dad and sister began picking at all my flaws, physically and mentally. When I'd get upset they'd call me weak or pathetic and tell me not to be so sensitive. My mother would say nothing and instead tell me to apologise. So my life has enough issues as it is and if I vanish it's not personal it's because of my mental health