Zaffre

Hi, My name is Katie I have been struggling with mental illness since i was really young, ive always been afraid of speaking up because i usually got knocked down. I was bullied for most of my life and even when i did stand up for myself i just didnt end up with friends in the long wrong. I have been suffering anxiety, ptsd, depression, bipolar disorder and panic attacks. I also have a slight disorder that makes it hard for me to hear a lot of noises of different frequencies going on around me and it makes me panic and also very manic Ever since i was 12 or 13 i have always been a talkative person but my emotions were bouncing up and down and my first year of high school i was told that i was just a growing teenager that mood swings are normal. My first ever visible panic attack was when i was 15 and i got scared of the noises around me and to many people made me feel closed in so went out side then ran to the nurses office where i tried to calm down. I remember having some emotional moments where i couldn't control things around me and felt unstable so i would play games or try to cope in that way. Coming to find out that i was diagnosed with bipolar disorder with psycotic tendendies along with severe anxiety and trauma I lost my mom when i was 11 and i feel that might have been when everything started to trigger. My ptsd also started from younger than then gradually got worse when i went through hurricanes right after she died My past is where alot of my fears and things like nightmares could come from but i could go on and on but i dont want this to be to long and seem like a rant xD When people tell me they feel anxious just a little stressed and jittery towards a situation, i sometimes wish it was that simple to just come and go. But its not ever like that im one of those people that could talk to you about your ups and your downs and be as blunt or as much of smartass as i can be just to get you to smile because even though im going through voices in my head about all the crap in my life seeing someone else smiles puts a warm place in my heart so if anyone is feeling alone or lost im always around..