Martinus

I'm live for a little bit. <3 I haven't been on in a while, so if you PM'ed etc and I haven't replied yet, I'll get back to you soon. i've been taking a lot of time off for myself because i needed it, but I'll back as soon as I can. Thank you for understanding, and enjoy my stream in the meanwhile! 

live for a short while! I´ll try to talk but it´s 3 AM and IDK if my mic can pick sounds up. Would love to finally paint a bit again as I haven´t done much in the past.

Taking my parents out for some night McDrive... Way to start the holiday season! 

We'll be working hard in the coming days before Christmas to get some stuff done in the house as we have a lot of moving to do, so time to do some crazy things first to lift up the mood!

Enjoy the holidays y'all. <3

A Status Update:

My hand has recovered for the most part, so I will be working on Christmas gifts if I can. Unfortunately I randomly strained it during the weekend cleaning stuff? So I do have to take it easy yet still. Recovery has been going for a month and it honestly sucks, I can barely do the things I love but I want to so I won't let myself get down so easily. 

Here's My Plan:

1. Secret Santa comes first.

2. I have some other GASR festivity freebies planned for a few people, which I hopefully can do afterwards.

3. Once the festivity ends, I'll come with a new premade collection for January that I've been planning for a while.

4. If all goes as I plan and my uni grades keep up I will open a private commission shop afterwards to hopefully meet the expectations of so many requests. I'm honoured to have received so many comments and love. I'm very grateful to a lot of you for having accepted me in the community and seeing some of you hype up for my art means the world to me. 

I'm only here for art and the love for art. And the interaction and appreciation I receive back from a lot of you really help me. 

I wanted to paint tonight, but had writing inspiration as I was outside on my own. I hope you like it. 

Somebody special once told me

''Let it all out, there is a light inside

Do not be afraid, there is no reason to muddle it and hide.''

Right before I had to give up defeat,

You swore on your own life, yet I had to take my retreat

''See, I once met this angel,

Crystal grey eyes with platinum hair

She had experienced something terrible, her eyes filled with despair

Yet the most beautiful thing was the release of her cry

She let go of the haunting from her sorrow through a song

she released the weights of her shoulders and went to fly.''

Time passes,

yet these words echo through my mind

I prepare myself for a journey, all on my own

Freed myself from the shackles,

chained to their self made throne

I wish I could see your face once more, I feel alone

Strange it feels to dwell these barren desert lands with a plan of my own

These flowers I plucked from the fields at the shore earlier, they seemed less colourful before

I will not look back no, away from the cages I have flown

Night is falling as I reach and make my way through the woods,

I lift my head to the stars that glisten upon the leaves,

Wondering if I will ever see the light up close

So I can prevail these self conflicting wars of mine

I always told myself, you are granted back what you give and gain

but if I live by words of this prophecy,

Then what on earth did I take to deserve this horrid pain?

Since adolescence I have only ever felt half alive,

Nobody to trust, even my own body torning itself from inside

These wounds will be but scars with you by my side

Your words they kept me alive, healed me

Now they haunt me as you are not here

And even angels break down and cry, how will I survive if I only fear

I stop by this creek and look in my reflection, staring in the eyes of the man others told I have grown to be

But all I see is a crying boy, once surrounded by love and peace then hurt for all to see

Somebody young, innocent and selfishly pushed aside by many,

Hiding in self-shame, they left when there was nothing for them to take from me

Yet this boy smiles and laughs through the long periods of pouring rain,

He believes the waters will make life flourish again,

He doesn't need others to see him perished in his own vain

A tear rolls down my eye as I look up to the sky at this calm night

I am howling like the wolves and owls, singing their song of moonlight

Yet the echos of my cry feel so free,

Like the water flowing and the wind blowing,

they take my fears and flee

I have always given love and heart,

In return I am left bare handed, naked and torn apart

Now I continue this trail northwards, it is my path to traverse alone

No longer will I be naive to the promises of men and women I cross, on their deeds I shall rely

I wish I had known beforehand, maybe I would never have pushed myself aside

Perhaps the road I am taking was  much shorter if we had not collide

I ready myself a shelter of branches and leaves to sleep,

No sun sets or rises without a thought of you and I passing by

When you hurt me and ventured further alone, did you even bat an eye?

Sincerely I hope you are happy with the decisions that you made

Although I keep looking back, I know that even our most cherished memories will fade

Dawn is breaking upon the land,

I will continue this journey now again, climbing up this mountain to reach the sky

Perhaps the light will be clearer for me to see from up this high

Now here I stand, on the peak of the mountain

Terminus reached, the echoes of harsh voices from the past still shouting with howls from the wind

I watch as the sun rises behind the hills I crack a smile and break,

these final tears will be blown away, freezing with the chills

My hands stiff from the cold as I finish this garland

These flowers around the statue I carved, they remind me of days now gone

Their colours are already withering, and with them sinister whispers will condone

Now I understand memories of what happened never eradicate

They are channeled here on this place, is there even such a thing as fate?

I close my eyes once more before I will continue my travel

Then I recall a voice in the wind, thoughts about that angel you once told me about,

And for the first time I feel ready to let go and cry

It feels good to be up here, alone, right between earth and sky

Briefly it seemed if you were with me once more,

But it is only lullaby, a remembrance at that shore of you and I

Just like that angel,

you left your sorrows behind to spread your wings

Although I am now alone and carry the burden,

I can make it through and we will reunite as kings

Little update on my arm and the coming weeks!

I can almost stretch and use my arm to it's fullest, but there's still a slight numbness in my wrist and holding a pencil for too long sends stings down my arm, so I do have to take it easy for a week or two, I hope much less.  I'm practicing a lot of yoga to get the neurotic pain out of my arm, and I believe it's slowly working. 

Unfortunately I have a huge ass report to write for university, and can't really dodge it's deadline lol so I hope I won't overload my arm with that. 

For the coming month I will focus on event art (secret santa, maybe the charity event too again) personal art and my next premade collection. I already have a ton of ideas but I will have to postpone them a bit for now! 

CUSTOMS:

I have also received a ton of PM's asking for custom art. Until I'm recovered I will not accept any private commissions. I will not promise dates anytime soon to avoid possible strain on myself. When the time to do customs again is right, I will inform all of you with another status update and have things ready here on my profile.  Bless you all for the support though, it means so very much and motivates me. 

LAST:

Happy thanksgiving to the Americans under us. Stay safe from the cold and enjoy all the coming festivity!  

OPEN! 20 Premades up! 

Please check them out, I did my very best on them. 

It's almost my very 1st GASRversary!! In commemoration to that I will release a large premade collection with late autumn/winter/christmas themes. Currently wrapping up the shop then they're good to go, so stay tuned and watch this space if you're interested!!! 

I'm so very excited to release these as I've been working very hard on them. I've been experimenting with various styles and techniques and I hope you all will like the pieces!!